Jamie Jane

b. gen. A breathing in or infusion of some idea, purpose, etc. into the mind; the suggestion, awakening, or creation of some feeling or impulse, esp. of an exalted kind.

school is killing my inspiration. need to find a reason. somewhere, something, someone. it’s out there & I shall seek it.

Thanksgiving may have been only last weeks news, but it has been my day-long thoughts. To me, Thanksgiving is a time to be surrounded by family and friends, engaging in conversation, or at least enjoying a plethora of food.

as of this moment in time, I miss Thanksgiving. Aside from the food that do not include dried goods in boxes, or isn’t available to nuke in a microwave, I miss feeling the togetherness at the table, or any table for that matter. Our lone table in the kitchen suffices as a place to stack books and leave only crumbs behind that can only be dismissed as food for the insects.

The only feeling of warmth or happiness are the small, instantaneous messages from home that come from a mobile phone. Instant messages and Skyping those who are dear to me feel like its not enough. I want to feel again. I want to feel the warm embrace from a friend. I want to feel the fluid connection between a mother and daughter. I want a passionate kiss from a boyfriend.

I hate being alone, sometimes.

jamie went to the gym

jamie passed out on 1, 2, 3.

after 2 hours at the hospital, she is free.

bumped head & a bruised tailbone

she called her mother, first to phone.

tiresome:

prettypinkshoes:leavesofstone:xkatana:liveelaughlovee:laurenec:

FIVE things you wish you could say to FIVE different people right now:

• Hello, stranger.
• happy belated.
• please get help to move on.
• I miss you
• live a good life.

TEN things about yourself:

• I am obsessed with tumblr
• I am completely humbled by the sacrifice my parents have made for me
• I am always hungry
• I am into dancing to really bad songs
• I do enjoy school, as much as I say I hate it
• I miss family all the time
• “I miss the family I tend to miss”
• I work hard now to live an easy life tomorrow
• I am cheap
• I try to do one thing nice everyday.

SEVEN ways to win your heart:

• Always say the right things at the right time
• Always be understanding
• Always be nothing but yourself
• Always be charming
• Always be loving
• Always be hopeful
• Always be my pick-me-up when I’m down

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

• Him
• Food
• School
• being broke
• Feelings
• Memories
• Music

FOUR things you do before you fall asleep:

• turn off all the lights
• go over a mental checklist for tomorrow
• make sure my phone is near me
• take off my glasses

FOUR things you see right now:

• schedule
• cellphone with an elastic around it
• My empty mug
• my blue dragon

THREE songs that you listen to often:

• Everybody knows - John Legend
• I’m yours - Jason Mraz
• Use somebody - Kings of Leon

TWO things you want to do before you die:

• have kids of my own
• be completely happy.

ONE confession:

• I have a hard time holding back my tears when I reminiscence about family.

To sum up my 3 weeks thus far:

• I haven’t seen my family in 3 weeks.
• I haven’t heard my best friends’ voice in 3 weeks.
• I haven’t kissed my boyfriend in 3 weeks.
• I haven’t heard from friends in 3 weeks.

but there are some upsides:

• I haven’t been this small in 3 years
• I haven’t been sick in 3 weeks
• I haven’t gone psychotic in 3 weeks
• I haven’t eaten “bad” food in 3 days
• I haven’t had 3 ounces of alcohol in 3 weeks.

what’s been happening in three weeks from others:

• first time in 3 years of my siblings highschool career, he’s looking for a job
• I finally contacted my good friend since she’s been missing for 3 months
• Within 3 weeks, my UK roommate is finally trying to settle in.

What’s going to happen in 3 weeks:

• 3 major events (halloween, reading break, my birthday)
• 3 major essays due
• 3 major midterms

here are my 3 wishes till the end of the semester

• Sleep well, eat well, be well.
• excel at school with some motivation
• whistler.

with an half a decade old music player (say hello to the 1st generation ipod nano), the battery life has compromised to about 10 to 15 songs, if I’m lucky. Because of this, I have no other choice but to find music in everyday life in everywhere I go. As much as I would love to say that I enjoy it, I really do not. But what it does allow me to do is to be aware.

To be aware of my surroundings

To be aware of my footsteps

To be aware of the people around me

To be aware of people’s emotions

To be aware of sounds I’ve never thought I’d hear

To be aware of my own thoughts

To be aware of my own capabilities.

just taking it one step at a time.